My Life: A Work in Progress (and Probably Always Be)

If someone had told me five years ago I’d be writing my life story, I would have laughed.¹ Mostly because I was too busy trying how to get out of boredom in the midst of a pandemic.² Yet here I am, so might as well set the scene.³ In the summerish island of Romblon, the world welcomed a little girl.⁴ I was the second-born of the family, only two years apart from my sister.⁵ My life as a child was like a feather on a breeze as I grew up with sand under my feet, wind in my hair, and fueled by afternoon naps.⁶ I spent my formative years under the care of my grandparents in Odiongan, as my parents were working in Manila.⁷ By the age of four, I moved in the city with them, and that’s where my life really began.⁸ My mother did all her best to raise my sister and I while my father was overseas.⁹ In return, I learned how to excel academically, holding gratitude for my parents in my heart.¹⁰ “Gifted child” they call me, but honestly, I was just afraid of the look of disappointment from them.¹¹ Nevertheless, it served as my source of motivation.¹² Contrary to all I’ve said so far, I was also quite the rowdy kid like most, picking fights and spouting snarky remarks.¹³ At that stage of my life, it was more appropriate to refer to me as someone with a strong character.¹⁴ My childhood years were as typical as a flower to a butterfly.¹⁵ I scraped my knee, painted my nails, had crushes on Disney characters, and lived my life with my head in the clouds.¹⁶ For a girl like me, the world seemed so big.¹⁷ And of course, I dreamed bigger.¹⁸ I imagined myself doing a lot of things, settling on a bunch of career paths, you’d think I’ve lived a lot of lifetimes.¹⁹ I think that was the bliss of my childhood – I had the future ahead of me, and all I had to do was live.²⁰

Fast forward to thirteen and the following years, I was different from the girl I once was.¹ I’ve experienced the ups and downs of life: loss, happiness, desolation, contentment, and such.² I’ve tasted what it’s like to fail, to rise from it, and to carry the lessons it left me.³ Still, I’ve been told that it’s only the beginning.⁴ That idea had struck my will and left my determination wavering.⁵ I could describe my teenage years as a stage full of contemplation.⁶ I was exploring, discovering things, and unfolding more aspects of myself.⁷ Puberty came through like a truck.⁸ I was emotional, distraught, and every little thing seemed to enrage me.⁹ Looking back, I never quite understood why I was like that before.¹⁰ I could only laugh and tell myself I was just a sensitive kid.¹¹ Junior High School was fun as I formed stronger friendships and tried to hone my academic excellence.¹² If there was anything that stayed the same, it was my vast imagination.¹³ I used it as fuel to pursue different hobbies.¹⁴ I found my love for the arts, tried to create mine, and it felt right.¹⁵ I knew I always had a colorful vision on different things, and I’m glad that spark never burned out.¹⁶ It was the only thing I could hold onto as I pushed through the remaining years of my teens.¹⁷ Then came Senior High School, the moment I realized every decision I make will determine my future.¹⁸ I tried my best to masquerade my anxiety, and reassured myself that I’ll figure it out when the time comes.¹⁹ Although the feeling of security could only do so much; people would ask me about my path to college and all I could do was smile and tell them I’ll take anything I’ll end up to.²⁰ Despite the growing pressure, I finished the last two years of high school with colors and ready to take on what’s ahead.²¹

College applications were hectic.¹ I studied for entrance exams, filed requests for whatever requirements I was asked for, and I thought the errands I went through were never ending.² In May of 2023, the threads of fate led me to University of the East, under the program of Information Technology.³ Why, you may ask?⁴ I never really knew what to do (as disappointing as it sounds), so I thought about being practical.⁵ I had the choice to pursue my artistry, but I was firm on my decision that it would only stay as an interest.⁶ I brushed off the worry in my chest and officially entered my college life with my head up high.⁷ First semester of my freshman year went smoothly, I easily made friends and quickly picked up on my studies.⁸ Just when I thought I already know everything there is about the world, it got bigger.⁹ Turns out I still have a lot to learn and more things to discover.¹⁰ I’ve failed exams, spent all-nighters, hung out with friends to places I haven’t been before, and unexpectedly, fallen in love.¹¹ Now that I’m halfway through, I remember the starting line, the nervous energy, the way everything felt so new.¹² Thinking back, it feels like a different lifetime.¹³ I've seen things I never expected, learned lessons I couldn't have imagined.¹⁴ And you know what?¹⁵ The fire's still there.¹⁶ Maybe it's not the same wild blaze as before, but it burns steady now, fueled by experience.¹⁷ It's a different kind of fire, a quieter strength.¹⁸ I'm not just trying to get to the end anymore; I'm determined to make the most of every single moment that's left.¹⁹ The funny thing is, I used to worry so much about what was coming next.²⁰ But now?²¹ I don't know, and that's okay.²² This life is a story waiting to be written, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.²³